Smile4me-4ever...

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Miss You, Dad

What I want in my Life!     Duane's B-day Poem     Can you feel, what I feel?

I'll give him my Heart!     About to be your used to be 

Is all I have left just Memories?     Poem for Grandpa     Life of Memories

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 My Dad's Poem's

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As I sit here once again, feeling sad,

I still have such a hard time, without my Dad.

The pain is so intense, like nothing ever before,

I have never felt anything like it, it cuts you to the core.

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I miss his comforting voice and his smiling face,

he was always happy to see me and to be in the same place,

A feeling and  image I will always embrace.

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Noone looks at me like my Dad,

I think that's what makes me so sad.

His smile always so happy to see you,

His eyes sparkle with love for you, that was true.

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He was a happy man and seldom ever sad,

I always knew how proud of me he was and the love he had.

No matter what, nothing or noone could ever take his place.

The love I have for him, I will always embrace.

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I know he will always be a part of me, just not how I still want him to be,

he can still be my cheerleader, so long as he lives inside of me.

 I miss him each and every day, but I know I have alot of life yet to see.

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So I take him with me, everywhere I go and in all that may be,

together we will share my moments and we will live happily.

He has helped me become who I am, without him who would I be?

So in order for me to make him proud, I keep him alive so I can be me.

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I know it's okay to sit and  cry awhile,

and realize I truly have many more reason's to smile.

My heart may be broken, as I share a tear and memories, with Dad.

Just to remember, all he ever wanted was for me to be happy, not sad..

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So I put a smile on my face and find peace in my heart.

I know he's still with me and that's the best part!!

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What I want in my life! 

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Today my heart is filled with happiness and joy!

It started out with a smile and along came my boy.

The happiest day I have ever had!

There were tears that day,

but noone was sad.

As years went by and the time seem to stand still.

I needed to do something, my heart I had to fill.

I looked to my spouse for the love I had to share,

but seems it didn't matter, he just didn't care.

 

My life was taken away from me, in my early years.

A life of sadness, tears and to many fears.

I tried to be strong, I tried to be true. 

I tried to hold on to my baby in blue.

 

Times got tough and my heart started to break.

I realized then I was making a mistake.

What could I do to make my life a better place?

To make myself happy but not take the smile from his face.

 

I held on for to many years for my baby I love.

The one thing God blessed me with from above.

I thought in my heart this was what I should do.

Stay with his daddy make him feel safe too.

 

What a mistake that seemed to be.

Today I look into his eyes and see what's true.

The smile on his face makes me know I did right.

A mommy with a smile, no more seeing us fight.

 

God gave me the strength to walk away.

I just pray to God I can be happy someday.

Happy, as being able to share what I have in my heart.

Share the love I have to give without getting it torn apart.

 

I know deep inside he's out there somewhere.

Can you hear my cries? I want to love you, I want you here!

I'm looking for someone to give it all to.

Could you be that someone, can that someone be you ?

 

This is what I want, I want to take care of you.

I want to give you my hear and hold you close to me too.

Share our happiness, our love and tears. I want to be the one to take away your fears.

 

I want t kiss your lips and touch your face.

I want to hold you close in a sweet embrace.

Share with you my life, my love and my child.

I want to make love and get totally wild.

 

I think this someone is waiting for me.

I just want him to look into my heart so he can see.

What I have to offer deep inside my heart.

Love me today, tomorrow and forever, til death we do part.

 

I don't think it's to much I'm asking for.

I want to love and be loved, nothing more.

My dreams be his dreams, and yours become mine.

That's all I need and I will be just fine.

 

I want to have another baby.

with that somoene, you think it's possible maybe?

God, I need your help! Please send him to me!

I'll make him happier then he thought possible to be.

 

Just give me a chance and you will see,

I have so much to offer just want to be me.

I want to give life to someone else's broken heart.

Mend it with my love and never tear it apart.

 

God will you do this, will you send him to me?

I'll do what I can to make him happy, that's how it will be.

Love him forever, take care of him always,  cherish him to the end.

Protect his heart from pain, make him smile and be his best friend.

 

Tammy Stockon

feb 01

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DUANE'S POEM ON HIS BIRTHDAY

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We met online just about a month ago.

What was it about him, I didn'tknow. 

He wasn't like no other kind.  

He was sweet and stimulated my  mind.

 

I remember the first day I heard his voice.

 

Wow, it was amazing to me I had no choice.

I had to find a way to meet this guy.

Something about him made my heart fly.

 

So different we are, but so simular too.

Have the same wants, he thinks like I do.

We talked for hours and had so much to say.

Then we agreed to meet up one day.

 

That day came fast, it was him I needed to see.

Wanted to see if we really clicked or if it was just me.

I was so nervous when that day finally came.

One look in his eyes, I knew he felt the same way.

 

What was it about this man I'm letting into my heart.

Something about him took me from the start.

I'm scared to death but he makes my heart smile.

What am I going to do when we have know each other awhile?

 

The day we met I will never forget.

But the fact is, I don't think I've seen the best yet.

His eyes so beautiful and so sweet.

His Smile...Oh it makes my heart skip a beat.

 

I waited all evening for that very first kiss.

It was something I knew I didn't want  to miss.

His lips touched mine, sent chills up my spine.

I felt safe with him and knew I'd be just fine.

 

His skin so soft, his touch so gentle and caring.

I was lost in the moment that we were sharing.

I feared this moment, flash backs in my head.

I really like him, what if he hates me in bed.

 

Then he kissed my lips once again and I knew.

I wanted him so bad, convinced myself he wanted me too.

Wow, he was amazing. This man rocked my night.

Knew how to please me and he did it just right.

 

The night was long but the morning came to soon.

I got up and showed him my moon.

He said then, he knew I felt comfortable and he did too.

It's all cuz of you baby, all cuz of you!

 

Duane, I don't know what it is about you.

You have set my heart beating and I don't know what to do.

Honestly, I am scared because I am really liking you.

But I'm taking it day by day is all I can do.

 

When I talk to you. You make me smile like never before.

Don't know what you could ever do to make me smile more.

I want you to know you are forever my friend.

Someone I don't want to lose in my life, I don't want this to end.

 

I don't know where the two of us will go.

But a friendship forever is what I do Know.

I'm told all the time, that I am starting to fall.

So I hold back not giving you my all.

 

The feelings I have already, are coming way to fast.

Scared it's something that isn't going to be able to last.

You are one of a kind and I'm looking forward to seeing you more.

Just can't wait to see you again at my front door.

 

Day by day is how it must be.

God knows what's in plan, how its suppose to be.

For now, I will just enjoy the time I have with you.

That makes me happy, that's what I will do.

 

Today is your birthday, a very special day to me.

A day to call your own and for you to see.

Just how special you are inside and out.

A day to know you are cared about...without having any doubts.

 

tammy stockon

may 01 

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Can you feel, what I feel? 

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I lay awake at night dreaming of you...
I'm scared, I'm alone and I don't know what to do.
I want you to see what I see.
I want you to feel what it feels like to be me.
 
Baby close your eyes,feel me there.
Feel my soft kisses upon your lips.
My fingers moving through your hair.
My breathe on your neck as I gently kiss your ear.
Can you feel me baby? Can you feel me here?

Open your eyes my love, look into my heart.
See the love I have for you, see my sadness we are apart.
Look into my eyes, see my love is deep and true.
My heart is full of love, love for you.
Can you feel me baby? Can you feel me here?
 
This is usually the time my heart starts to break.
My body trembles, my lips start to shake.
I can't stop thinking or feeling you here.
Next thing I know I'm wiping away tears.
 
Then I feel your arms, wrapped around me, pulling me close.
That's the part that hurts the most.
I can feel you baby!
I can feel you here!
 
Close your eyes again baby.
I need you to feel this part.
This is when it really hurts
when my heart gets torn apart.

Feel my body next to yours my soft kisses and warm embrace.
Feel my fingers trace your lips and move slowly across your face.
Can you feel me baby?
Can you feel me here?

Feel  my soft touch, my gentle kiss.
All over your body baby, not a spot do I miss.
Looking up at you, deep in your eyes I whisper..
"I want to make love to you"

Can you hear me baby?
Can you feel me here?
This is where I imagine a night of complete love and ectsasy. 
It's a dream I want to make reality not a just a fantasy.

Can you see it baby?
Can you see me here?
I want to make you mine.
From today til the end of time.

I want to be the one to hold you tight.
Hold you close all through the night.
Make you happy baby, dry up your tears.
Make you feel safe, take away your fears.

Do you see it baby?
Do you see it like me?

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I'll give him my heart ! 

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I met him just a month ago today.  
Never did I think I could feel this way.
How could it go from words on a screen.
To the image I had but only in a dream.

Conversations that lasted hours at a time.
Went from simple words to wanting him as mine.
This man has something special in his heart.
One thing I longed for and seen it from the start.

We come from different backgrounds but think the same way.
Maybe that's why we clicked so we could learn more each day.
His life was sad and full of anger and fears.
My life was sheltered for so many years.

I've learned so much from this man I just met.
But there's so much more I haven't seen yet.
I hold on to every word that he has to say.
I want to get to know him in each and every way.

His words and stories are filled with so much feeling.
He's in pain and I want to help his heart through it's healing.
At times I see the sadness and the pain in his eyes.
Breaks my heart to see it, I can feel his cries.

I too had the same sadness growing inside of me.
Just wanted to be happy that's how I needed it to be.
I see so much of myself in what he's going through.
Life can be happy and I know this is true.

I will be there for him as long as he wants me to be.
I'll hold his hand, protect his heart, be his friend, as he is to me.
I'll respect him as a person and cherish him as a friend.
Be there for him always from today til the end.

I see so much just looking in his eyes.
This man's got a heart of gold and tells no lies.
Tells it like it is, he's got nothing to hide.
He's tough on the outside but a softie if ihe let's you inside.

He trys to put on a front that he's big and bad.
But I see him differently, and for that I am glad.
I see him as so sweet, just one caring, loving man.
Don't care what he has done, I'll be his biggest fan.

Our relationship has started with so much pain.
But through it all, I see we have everything to gain.
Most people start out with nothing but happy days.
But for us, it's going to be a struggle in so many ways.

I have to wait for him til he is free to be mine.
But he's worth the wait and I'll be just fine.
So long as we are honest each and every day.
We can then make each other happy in each and every way.

I've got alot to offer him just by giving him my heart.
And I have done that today and that is just a start .
I'll do all I can to make him smile every day.
He deserves to be happy and I will make him that way.

This guy's got a lot to offer me too.
His smile is amazing and his eyes so beautifully blue.
His heart is full of love that I feel he wants to share.
With that someone who can love him and show him they care.

His morals, his hopes and dreams are so like mine.
We don't know what will happen until we have taken the time.
The time to get to know one anther and see where this goes.
Our hearts are left open but God's the only one that knows.

Where these feelings are leading us today.
What I do know is he is feeling the same way.
He's taking a chance and opening his heart too.
I think it's the right thing for both of us to do.

He's already made my heart smile.
A feeling I haven't had in quite awhile.
He has no idea just how he makes my heart feel.
I know it's love and I know this is real.

I will follow my heart wherever it may lead.
Stand by him and be the friend he may need.
Duane,  I give you my heart and my friendship today.
I  promise to always be there for you as long as you want me to stay.

Tammy Stockon
4-01 duane stahl

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Is all I have left just memories?

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But now all I'm left with is memories.

 

We talked and laughed, things seemed alright.

Maybe I just fooled myself but I got it last night.

I'm left with the memories of the times that we shared.

The love I have for him is real, he has to know I cared.

I broke his heart and for that I must pay.

I'll long for him always and hope for the day.

 

He said he loved  me and we were still friends.

But why do I feel it's over and we are at the end.

It's time I do what's best and let him go.

I just wanted him to know I loved him so.

 

As I look at his picture and his smile starts to erase.

I realize it's from the tears, that are falling from my face.

I have never loved this deep and this true.

I just wanted a chance to make him see that too.

 

I'm left with memories of the times we shared.

The love I had for him was real he had to know I cared.

I broke his heart and for that I must pay.

I'll love him always and hope for the day.

 

I wanted to let him look into my eyes to see what I see.

Maybe just maybe he could fall in love with me.

But my chances of that part are gone he wants it to end.

What am I going to do without my best friend.

 

I am sorry for all that I've done.

I just wanted to be special, be that someone.

I know I could make you happy if given a chance.

But I messed it all up and took away the romance.

 

I'll always be here whatever you may need me for.

But I can't keep hoping when I know there will be no more.

Thank you for trying, I hope you get this sorted out.

Remember I loved you, Don't let there be doubt.

 

I love you cowboy, that's just how it will be.

You own my heart, the only one inside of me.

I'll cherish my memories of what I seen.

But hoping for more seems to mean.

 

I asked to call you and I had hoped to hear from you.

That's why I said, Do what you have to do.

I knew then my cowboy was going, it was a matter of time.

See I used to be yours and you were mine.

 

Now I have nothing but the feelings in my heart.

They are killing me and tearing me apart.

Then I realized your feeling the same things too.

Just for a different person, who was taken away from you.

 

I know I can't take her place, in some of her qualities she had.

But there are alot of things I can offer, that aren't so bad.

We shared the same heart, the same feelings inside.

I am all me, I got nothing more to hide.

 

I want the things we talked about along that lovely path.

I miss you baby, the playing and picking and hearing you laugh.

That was me doing those things, they weren't just words baby.

But 'my' words that come from my heart,

full of love and laughter, can you see that?

 

I want you, I need you, I love you.

It's 3 am, I miss you truly, madly, deeply.

I'll miss you and love you today, tomorrow and forever.

Tammy Stockon

David Brock 00 

Richmond, Ky

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Sitting here dreaming of you and the love we made...

Will it last or will it fade?

The feelings I have deep inside........

 I want to release it I dont want to hide!!

Im scared and Im alone......

This aching in my heart.....

 knows no end its falling apart!!

I want you I need you I love you....

 Is this love? Can it be true?

Im afraid to meet you today.

 But I know thats what has pushed you away!!

My mind says let you go....

 But my heart says make him stay!!

Why does love have to hurt so bad.....

 Why does the thought of you make me so sad?

Will our love last or will it fade away.....

 I dont have the answers but I will someday!!

There was life before me and life before you....

 But I was hoping our love was deep and true!!

I knew you were different not the normal kind....

 I thought Id be happy I had opened my mind!!

To the life with out fears.......

 Life with less tears!!

The love and joy that I feel.....

 I was hoping my heart it could heal!!

But today I feel so empty and cold.....

 For know I know it will be you I never hold!!

As the tears fall from my face....

 I knew it was you who took the place

Of the hurt I held onto for so long...

 But again I did it all wrong!!!

Alone in this world is where I will stay......

 I hope God will let me be happy someday!!

Until that day I will hold on to the memories.....

A life of memories....Thats how my life is to be !!!

 

Tammy Stockon

2000 

 

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Poem for Grandpa!

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How can i say goodbye to you Grandpa. 
Now that you have passed away.
You have gone to heaven now.
And that is where you will stay.
I know deep down inside.
Heaven us the best place for you to be.
But I can't help the wanting
The wanting you here with me.
My Dearest Grandpa.
I need to say a few words to you on this final day.
It's hard to except that you  are gone away.
But I know I will see you again someday.
You'll be with me each and every day.
Through the love we've shared along the way.
I'll always love you and miss you too
But Grandpa, I know the Lord is taking good care of you.
I Love You Grandpa.... Good-bye

TAMMY STOCKON
DARRELL STOCKON
1-92

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The day you let me walk away! 

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The day you let me walk away.
Will live in my heart forever.
I wanted you to stay.
But I knew it was now or never.

I heard it in your voice for days.
It was what your heart told you to do.
I loved you in so many ways.
But that was never enough for you.

You had to feel my body close to you.
But I wasn't ready for that day.
You waited so long, did what you had to do. .
And I know it was what you had to say. 

See, I do love you and want the same things.
Just needed to be sure, protect my heart.
But time has shown me what life brings.
Should of protected myself from the start.

I loved once before full and true.
Had my life turned upside down.
Then there was the day I met you.
The sun shined again and wiped away my frown.

I fought so hard, not to fall in love.
Just wanted some fun in my life.
God sent you to me from above.
We thought to be your wife.

Boy were we wrong on that one baby.
We had our fun, laughing and loving and we grew.
But was that the plan just maybe?
We don't know what was to happen but we knew.

That no matter what, the 2 of us together,
Were good when we were good and bad when bad.
But the love we made and the love we feel, the love we had
Will last in our broken hearts forever.

I had no bad memories or regrets til now.
Just one is all that keeps lingering in my head.
Knowing you let me go so easily and wondering how,
Guess all that waiting has made your heart dead.

I did that to you, I took it all away.
Slowly, bit by bit I sucked it all out of you.
It's a wonder you ever wanted to stay.
Look at what I have done to your heart and to you.

I will burn in hell for all that I have done.
I'm kind of looking forward to that day.
I can't blame my things on the past, can't blame noone.
It's always been me, that's what they all say.

But I know now, what I have to do.
I have to stick with me and only me.
See I see what I have done to you.
Just me and me forever, is how it's got to be.

No other man, will ever get to share my life.
My love, nope they won't get my heart!!
It's mine to give and mine to keep.
I will shut my heart off to love from the start.

I made myself a promise to not give my heart away.
Then you came along, dammit you made me fall in love.
I let my guard down, let myself feel this way.
Should of stuck with the promise a life without love!

"I love you, I want you, I need you, I crave you" was what you had to say
You loved me, wanted me, needed me and craved me so much, you let me walk away!

Tammy Stockon
2000

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