Smile4me-4ever...

J's Car Accident     U.P. Trip - Escanaba  

Mother's Day '08      Weekend with Vernie    Vern's Visit

 Heartbroken      1st Anniversary     Father's Day    

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Hello, this is Tammy. I hear a lady say "Tammy" I answered "Yes" She said "I am calling for Jason" I said "Excuse me?" I wasn't sure if I heard her correctly and that mean she was with my son, that's not usually a good thing. She responded "I am here with Jason and he has been involved in a car accident, but he's okay" I said "Are you kidding me, he's okay thought, he's not hurt? I am on my way!" She then said "Yes, he is okay, has a bump on his head but he's standing right here, he asked me to call you. We are right outside of your community, he was turning in to come home" I said "Okay, tell him I am on my way, leaving out the door now" she said "Tammy" I said "Yes". She then said "He is okay and the ambulance is here so he's okay, I'll tell him your on your way" I said "Thank you so much". I don't think I will forget that phone call for along time. I did get to meet the nice lady and thank her, but I never got her name :( She was a big help for both of us :) 

So, I pull up. I see a fire truck, 2 ambulances and several police men. Traffic was stopped both ways. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, it was just a blurr for several moments. I needed to get across that street. I was in my jammie short pants, I had a coat on but I was way under dressed for the weather. LOL Duane who can't be out in the weather much at all, esp when it's that cold. Had to wait in the van, I told him I would call him over if I needed him but he had to stay warm. Duane pointed Jason out to me and I ran across the street. I ran up to Jason, immediately he said "Mom, I am okay just my head hit the rear window" I said "Your okay, you bleeding?" He showed me his blood covered hand. He then teared up a bit and I gave him a hug "Your ganna be okay" I said. He said "My truck is f'd, it's done" I said, "It may be but just remember your alright, that's what's important" He said, "Yeah, I know, but it is f'd up" He then went on to explain to me the damage and yes, it's f'd up.  

After our brief talk, I realize that we are standing next to the other car. In fact, when I first got to Jason, I seen other people standing there. 2 babies, one from the accident and one from a witness. I asked if all was okay and other then minor injuries  they too were okay. The baby was unharmed, just scared. Anyways, I was looking at the damage this other car had. Jason's truck which sat up a bit due to bigger tires (that he just bought friday, the day before this accident. almost 400 bucks for 2, added to Jason's pain.) so the truck sitting up caused most of the damage to the axle and bed of the truck. This car which seemed like a talon, mitsubishi type car, low was totalled in front, windshield cracked, it was mangled. So looking at all of this, gosh, there could of been fatalities on both ends. They could of went into oncoming traffic, it could of been a mess. As I am thinking that, up walks the officer to talk to the driver of this car.

The officer says, "can I have your license and registration". The guy says, "Well, I just got the car today. The plates on the car are the previous owners. I don't have insurance on it yet." The officer then responds, "Can I see your driver's license" The guy says, "Officer, I don't have a driver's license" He says to him "You don't have it on you?" The guy says, "No, I am not suppose to be driving." I said, "You got to be fuckin kidding me!!!!" The officer then raises his hand to hush me and another officer then starts talking to us and I didn't get to hear more or say more. Prolly a good thing! LOL!

So at this point, the officer gives Jas his ID stuff back and sends him over to the ambulance to get checked out. This whole time, noone knows where or what has happened. I kept worrying that they are going to get to our house and not know where we are or what happened. I also figured they could be stuck in this traffic. I was worried Jas was going to have to go to hospital, all that good stuff. I knew he wasn't dire but he may need to be seen to make sure. We have a birthday party, how can this be happening. He gets into an accident, he's hurt, his truck is toast, his brother's birthday is about to start and here we are with Jason. He mention to many people, I think all he met, that he's suppose to be eating cake, not dealing with this bullshit.

So they determine that Jas needs to have X'rays as a precautionary thing. He didn't want to go in the ambulance, he asked if I could take him myself. They said yes, but made sure I was going to do that and how important it was that he be seen. I had no problem with that, not what any of us 'wanted' to do but was what had to be done. I really thought he would of wanted them to take him over for a few. That's kind of 'exciting' esp when your not really hurt LOL Just thought it would be something Jas might wanna do LOL Maybe he would of but really he just wanted to go home and poo LOL He said at one pt something about pooping your pants when you get into a car accident. Thank God he didn't do that LOL

So, we head over to the hospital. It was myself, Jas and Mom. I really wanted her to go with me. Mostly for my own reasons. My Mom has always shared these times with me and I know Jas wants her there too. So we walk in the hospital, I go up to the counter and tell the lady. My son was involved in a car accident, he was seen by an EMS tech and they advised he come to hospital. He also told me to tell you, he was hit from behind at 45 m.p.h. As I went to point to Jas, he wasn't there. Then I realized, there's vending machines!!! Oh Jesus, him and vending machines. So I said to the lady, I am sorry, he's really not hurt bad as you can see, he just loves vending machines LOL So here comes Jason around the corner with my Mom. Holds up a milky way, smiles real big and says "I just wanted to make sure you guys really knew I was okay. My regular ole self " so we all laughed, then we went back to the ER.

So, the lady asks Jason what happened. He takes a deep breathe and says, (ganna try to be as close to what he said as I can) "Well, I was stopped outside the community that I live in. Waiting to turn. I look up in my rear view mirror and I say to myself, 'is he going to stop?'  Nope, he's not ganna stop as he slammed into me 45 m.p.h. I had my turn signal on, my foot on the brake and I just held on. When he hit me, I went way forward, then came back, my seat busted and my head went through the back window. I have a 95 chevy s-10 4x4 EXTENDED cab pick up and my head went through the back window he hit me so hard. At least I think that's what happened. I have a gash in the back of my  head and my back window was knocked out and I remember glass flying. So that's what happened. Now my truck is gone, just done. Christine is gone! (he named her that) This is my 3rd time getting hit, none my fault. I just got this truck Dec. 4th. Got into my first accident Dec. 11th. Got backed into Dec. 22nd. Now Jan. 24th it's gone, I've only had it that long and been hit 3 times. My mom told me it happens in 3's, but I had 2 accidents and my dad had one, so I thought that was my 3. No I guess not, this one is my 3 and now it's over. This was the story he told every person he seen. A few adlibs here and there, many more commical moments.

So, he told all this to....the first lady, the one who takes his insurance information, then to the next lady who took his temp and blood pressure. Then to the attending nurse and then to the doctor. I don't think I have laughed so much in a very long time. He was so comical, had good spirits even though his heart was broken.  That's my boy!! I was so proud of him and how he took all of this. He asked himself alot of questions about what he could of done differently, he realized he did everything he could possibly do and he did it right. He realizes how bad this could of gotten, he realizes that it is just a truck. Even though he loved it, it was his first one and it's gone. I think he realized alot that night. Good things, things that make a mother proud and things that help remind you he's ganna be okay. God I just love that kid! So here are a few moments that will forever ring in my head, you may of had to been there to appreciate them, but they were fun for us.

The nurse had come in to check his blood pressure and temp. He had no temp and his blood pressure was a little elivated but not alarmingly after what he had been through. So the nurse tells me that and Jason says, "WoW, my blood pressures high, I can't imagine why??? Oh I know, maybe because I just got hit by a jerk who totaled my truck. Yeah, I think my blood pressure should be high!" You have to know Jason to appreciate how funny that really is, he comes up with some crazy shit but it's how he says it that's so f unny. Very animated! LOL!

So this lady gets all done and she says okay it will be a few minutes then they will take you to a room so you can see the dr. She leaves and Jason gets out his milky way and starts eating it. The lady who took his ID comes back in with a surprised look and says "Oh NO! Your not eating are you?"  Jason looks at here with a dumb founded look on his face and says "What now I can't eat??" I said, "Is he not suppose to eat?" She says, "No, no, not until we make sure nothing is wrong." Jas starts folding up his candy bar and says "Wow, this sucks. I can't eat, my truck is totalled cuz someoneeeee hit me!! I am suppose to be at home having my brothers 18th!! Birthday party and I am suppose to be eating cake!!" We all laughed again and Jas felt the pain LOL

We get taken to where he will be seen by the Dr. and they lay the bed totally flat. She says to Jason " I need you to lay down til the doctor see's you" He said, pointing to the bed, "Just like that, flat?" She said "Yes, please" He says, "Okay, guess I can't even sit up now!, this sucks, etc....." another little run down of today's events LOL Positive humor for a very bad day, it was good for all of us. Showed his appreciation for what really matters, just making the best of his disadvantage LOL

So, here Jas is laying face up looking at the ceiling. I don't think he stopped very often to take a breathe. So for a moment he was quiet, just as a the attending nurse came in to say hello and get him settled til the Dr sees him. She walks in says, "Hi Jason" Jason laying flat on the bed, lifts his neck braced face straight up and looks at her and says "Hi" She says, "Oh Noooo, don't do that" as she giggles  running towards his bed. She places her hand on his forhead and guides his head back flat. He said "What did I do, now I can't say HI???" She said you need to keep your head flat, were not sure if you have any injuries yet. Jason says, "Well, if my neck was injured would I have been able to lift it to look at you?" She laughed and said next time someone comes in, just say Hi, don't look at them. Jas says, "Oh, okay then" We all laughed and waited for the doctor.

Doctor comes in, takes Jas down for Xrays, we wait and they return. Dr says "he is fine, just watch for signs. Anything unusual, like the way he talks, headaches, pains....you know, if he acts goofy, well goofier then he already is" as he laughted. Jas says, "Oh yeah that was real nice" something like that, but it was pretty funny.

So now the Dr is going to look at the gash in the back of his head. He get's it all cleaned up, I held the bucket to his neck as the Dr rinsed. I was watching the Dr and Jas's head and must of pulled the bucket a way a bit cuz Jas let out a bit of a Ahhh..LOL So he gets it all clean, explains to Jas he's ganna numb it but the shot hurts, just wants to make sure he understands. Jas says, just staple it, no shot. The Dr says, you don't want me to numb it. Jas says no, just get it done, tell me when it's ganna happen and just do it. So the Dr gets the stapler out and gets ready to put it to his head and Jas looks at him and says. "Do you think you can hold on just a minute, I need to use the bathroom" The Dr looked at him like are you f'n serious and then says "Are you serious? Can you wait just a sec, it will be done in just a minute." Jas says, "Okay, yeah, then just do it cuz I gotta go" So, he staples it, looks at it. Looks at me and says, what ya think Mom, one more. I said, Yep I think so right there and he asked Jas you okay for one more. He says, "Yeah, just get it done" He gets done and Jas goes to the bathroom.

I think everyone in that triage heard Jason's story, probably several times. Although what happened, happened. It really was a day to remember, for both good and bad reasons. Jason is okay, as of today, he's just a bit sore. He has meds, if they get bad. The Dr said a day or two, so time will tell. It's a horrible situation, we just had plpd on the truck. The driver of the car has no insurance, no license and no known address, he's staying in between friends. So he's homeless basically. I am thankful to God up above or maybe his guardian angel for keeping him safe, I don't know who to thank but I am thankful as hell it turned out the way it did, he's safe that'a all that ever matters. We will deal with the rest as we can.

We got home, ate dinner and had our cake for Chrissy's birthday and it all was good. We had fun and were all much more thankful then maybe we would of been had this not have happened. Christine's future is undetermined at this time, we believe she has found her final resting place but we will know more on Monday. She may be going to S-10 heaven with some brand new treds, couple of good O2 sensors, some rear end damage, I just hope all the good memories of it won't be gone with it. Jas had it for a couple months and at an anger moment he wanted to delete all the pics off his cell, I just hope he don't erase to much :-) May the smiles that truck brought him never fade away, just get replaces by something new to smile about!!! 

 Trip to the Upper Penninsula

Uncle Bob and Aunt Diane's 50th wedding anniversary. 

We left on Thursday, August 14th to start our weekend. We headed out on our journey early afternoon. We took our time and had a very relaxing trip up. We were meeting Tina and Tom in Kalkaska. They went a bit early and hit the casino. We were making great time and just relaxing. We went 25 miles past Kalkaska. LOL We had to turn around. Duane was driving and was thinking to himself, we are making great time, we should be to the bridge in no time. We weren't going to the bridge just yet. We had to turn around. We laughed and headed back to where we were to meet. We got off the exit and headed to where we were going to meet Tina and Tom. We hit a set of railroad tracks and heard a horrible sound. It sounded like we bottomed out and something was dragging. Sure enough, we had a little mishap. We lost our spare tire from the underneath of our van. We pulled over, I looked out the rear view mirror and seen a tire. I thought, Oh God! We broke an axle! LOL We did not, just a spare tire and Duane's bass fish from the hitch of the van. Jason and Duane got out and investigated. No biggie, just threw the tire in the back of the van. Duane raced around to find his bass, with a smile, he got back into the van. He was so happy he didn't lose him. I would of been happy if he did. *Ha Ha* We laughed for quite sometime about that, it was a scary moment, but all turned out well. We met up with Tina and Tom and headed to Danny's place. We spent 2 nights at Tina and I's boss Danny's house in Shanty Creek, Mi. Talk about a beautiful place. It was huge. Has to be like 3500 sq ft. Nice wooded area. Gorgeous home with a deck that wraps around the whole place and goes from level to level. We had plenty of room to sleep. Tina gave us the tour, we picked out our bedrooms. Unpacked our stuff and the guys went to get a fire going. As us girls were getting things together, we realized that we brought food to make hoagies on the fire. Tina and Tom forgot the hoagie pie makers, so dinner was a bit difficult without them. We didn't stress, we ordered pizza. It was 15 minutes til 10 pm. Ordered pizza and the pizza place was closing at 10. We had to hurry. The pizza was fabulous. So, we decided we would get the Wii out and play some games. That came to a hault, Jason brought the Wii and all the games, but didn't remember to unplug the power cord from the wall at home.  We got a good laugh about that and harrassed him a bit for ruining our entertainment for the weekend *Ha Ha* That was okay, we headed downstairs to shoot some pool and play some darts. Duane played the arcade game he had and enjoyed the hell out of that, we all were getting tired so headed off to bed. We spent the next day just chilling, laughing and having a great time. We played several games of Texas Hold Em. That was alot of fun. Chris was a bit concerned because he really didn't know how to play very well. With all of our help he did pretty darn good. We laughed alot. That night it came down to Jason and Me, the final 2. Of course, I won!! *Ha Ha* He so thought he could win, not a chance LOL We celebrated Tom and I's birthday's Friday. Mom got us both the new Wii fitness board. We couldn't play it because Jason forgot the power cord but we were both very excited. What a great gift!! Thanks Mom!!!

Saturday morning we cleaned up and headed back on the road to head up to Escanaba for my Aunt and Uncle's 50th wedding anniversary. I hadn't seen my cousins in years. Last year I seen my Aunt when we went on our 'girls weekend'. They were very surprised. It was a wonderful party and great to see all my cousins and their beautiful children. My favorite is my cousin Andy. I had a huge crush on him growing up and remember being very upset when he got married 25 years ago. I absolutely love his wife Cheri. She is alot like me. She is very friendly and just a warm hearted person. We sat with her and talked most of the evening. Did a lil dancing, ate some great food, then called it a night.

We headed back to the hotel to chill out for the rest of the evening. Jason and Chris went over to the ice cream place and got us icecream. I had been craving a banana split for months. Finally got one, oh was it good. I did take a picture of it. Best Split I have had in forever!! Sat up talking for awhile before we headed to bed. Tina and Tom went out to the casino down the road for a couple hours then they headed to bed. We had a great time.

On the way home. Mom drove back with Tina and Tom, they had to close on the farm Monday morning so we headed home Sunday morning. We took our time. We stopped at the water, took a few pics, went and did a little shopping in Mackinac city. Got our fudge and goodies and headed back on the road. We stopped in Indian River and sat down for a wonderful lunch. We got home a bit later then expected but we had a great ride home. Wonderful couple of days of family fun!! Great times and great memories!! Check out our pics of our trip!!

Our Shanty Creek pics

Escanaba and trip home pics

Mother's Day '08

My Mother's Day was probably one of my best Mother's Day yet. I don't think anything will ever replace my very first Mother's Day, however, this year my Mom made it very special for me. I planned a BBQ for the family. I asked Mom what I could get her for Mother's Day and she replied "I know what I want for Mother's Day" I said okay? "I don't want to have to cook" LOL So I thought well hell that's easy enough. So I had no problem with that and Duane made her a batch of cookies. Was suppose to be more but we had financial troubles we didn't expect and that took away the gift for now. So, Sis arrives at my house and we head over to pick my Mom up for our Mother's Day BBQ.

We get to Mom's and she has something for my sis and I. Now Tina, my sis isn't a Mother, she hasn't had any children. Long story there so Mom brings out a bag and starts to cry. She says "I realize that today is Mother's Day and that I don't always show you guys how much you mean to me (which is so not true) but if it weren't for the 2 of you and your Dad, I would never of been a Mother. You have made being a Mother a wonderful thing." As she is really starting to cry hard she hands Sis and I two picture frames to start with, as we look at the frames, we realize they are poems my Dad had written that we found after he had passed away. One of the Poems were about my Mom, the incredible woman and the other was about him and her and becoming parents. I will share them soon when I have time to post them.

So, Sis and I had read them before but to have them to display in our homes in rememberance of my father was just priceless. So, now we are all balling and she hands up yet another present. This was an angel you hang on the wall with a beautiful quote on it. I will also share this with you soon. She explained the angel is to let us know that no matter where Dad is or where she may be one day, they will always be there to watch over us. Ugh, it's still even hard to type the words, cuz now I am crying again. I just didn't know what to think, it was the most wonderful beautiful heartfelt gift I have ever received. So, then she says and I have something for each of you to always remember your Dad.

I didn't think my heart could take anymore and she hands me a figuring of a father and daughter dancing and it read "Always Daddy's Little Girl'' She handed it to me and said, "This is for you, so you will always have that last dance with your father as his little girl" She handed Tina a snow globe. Her and Dad have always loved them. I can't honestly tell you what it looked like or what it said, I was to lost in what I had and all the memories flying through my head to even ask to look. After we shed many tears and hugged eachother we had to go back to my house for a BBQ.

The day we found these poems my Dad wrote, came by mistake, we were looking for something else. My Dad loved his computer. He had many poems and stories that people had sent him through emails that he saved in folders for members of our family. Each poem or story meant something to him and wanted to be able to share them with us. Many times he shared them but it was very important for him to keep them, so we could have them when he was gone. We would know why each one was meant for us. (:-) He had told me that he had disks for Mom if something happen to him.

When he passed away, I took those disks and made Mom her album. I know he would of been happy with the way I did it. It took her a lil bit to be able to read them, but she eventually did and it just revalidated there love for one another. So we didn't know that my Dad has already made his own album and when we looked through there, is when we found the ones he actually wrote himself. I didn't cry, I read them with so much pride and a huge smile. I finally realized where I got my love of writing and my art of putting my feelings onto paper. I got it from my Daddy! Who'd of thunk it! Never me, I thought I got it from my Gram (Dad's Mom) I was so proud of him and how wonderful these poems were, I can't wait to share them with you and as soon as I get a little time, you will find them on my Dad's page and probably in my Poems. That day is when I realized I too wanted to do that for my family and that is the main reason for my web site. (:-)

I told Mom, you know I was suppose to do this for you. She smiled and said "You wouldn't of been able to find them. I hid them so that I could do this for you girls" That's my Mom. Just another reason I can truly say I am blessed, she truly is everything you could ever ask for in one person and my Sis and Me were the ones who got to call her Mom!! I love her so much. So, that was my Mother's Day, a day I will always remember. There were tears but truly we walked away with big smiles for a great love we all shared and that was my Dad. 

Dad's Poem's

Weekend with Vernie (:-)

Today is Tuesday, May 6th, 2008. On Friday, May 9th Duane's best bud Vern is coming to stay with us until the following Tuesday. I honestly never thought this day would come. I have been looking forward to it for a very long time. Vern is coming by himself, so I am excited to 'really' get to know him. I have seen Vern several times since I met Duane. We have talked on the phone and used to talk on the internet alot. So it's not that I don't know who he is but most of what I do know I have learned from Duane. I enjoy the hell out of hearing about there stories, when Duane stick's to the story LOL I want memories of Vern for myself. I want to be able to tell stories about spending time with Vern. That may make me sound selfish, but there are many reason's why I feel this way.

First of all, I enjoy Vern very much, I think he is alot like me inside. I want to share that part of us. I want to form my own real friendship with him. When we get together, which isn't often, I usually am hangin with Deb, his wife. I enjoy that but also feel I miss out on enjoying Vern and Duane. Deb and Duane don't really always get along very well. I don't really think they care for one another. They have bumped heads a few times and both have there sides to there story. So, I think in that Vern and I haven't really been able to have any moments. So, I want to hang with Vernie and share smiles with him.

Second, is I want my kids to spend some time with Vern. Vern is great with my kids. My kids really enjoy him and he's not just a fun guy. He's open with his thoughts and shares things with the kids, like a grandpa/uncle/ just simply a father figure to whatever degree it happens to be. He is just that kind of guy. I could see Vern being my friend, my Dad, my brother LOL He could teach my kids alot. He's very trustworthy and kids need that someone to look up to and you can't ever have to many of them people in your life. He was that to Duane. He was the guidance he needed, he was the preacher when he had to be, he was the buddy to get in a lil trouble with too. Duane learned alot from him and the trust and faith he has in him as a person means the world to me. Another reason why it's so important for me to 'really' know Vern.

I also want this to be a good experience for Vern. So maybe he would come back again and vist more often. Vern doesn't have alot of family, but what I do know, is he has a family right here. I want to be Vern's family, he has been Duane's so I need him to know he is mine too. I want him to want to be a part of my family. He will be coming and going over to my Mom's with us on Mother's Day, so he will get a bit of a taste of the rest of the family LOL Hope he can handle that * Ha Ha *.

I am a bit nervous about the whole thing too. I don't know what changes I will see in Duane while his friend is here. We have never had a friend stay with us. So sometimes people are a bit different. I don't see Duane with Vern to much so what do I really expect? LOL I dunno but I'm a lil frightened, not in a bad way.

My other nerve issue is Vern's wife Deb is a great cook LOL I am not what you would consider great LOL I don't cook balanced meals. I have no veggies in the house other then potatoes and frankly they are usually no good LOL Okay, so it's not as bad as it sounds, however, breakfast lunch and dinner is alot of work.

I already work 2 jobs, have to come home and cook our basics. Like if we are having hamburgers, it's hamburgers. Maybe on a good day fries LOL Just how it is, if it was Deb. It would of been a 5 course hamburger meal. I don't have that much time or desire to be in the kitchen. I do the roast and veggies thing once in awhile or chicken with stuff, but mostly it's nothing fancy and I don't usually dirty more then a couple pans LOL

I sleep in, Vern gets up early and goes to bed at 9ish. My night starts at 9ish when the kids head to bed. I'm normally going to sleep about 1. Just how it is, so how is this all gonna go smoothly. I am going to be exhausted by then, I have a deal in the works to sell a home and closing on one just before that, ugh! I just want all to be good!! I am sure it will be but I gotta panic for a few or I'm jsut not prepared LOL Okay, that's that, I will be sure to write about my weekend experience. (;-)

Vern's Weekend Stay (;-)

Today is May 14, 2008. We took Vern back home and drove home talking about our weekend. I know Duane and I loved having him here. Vern is a wonderful person and having him around was like having a family member sharing our home with us. Vern arrived on Friday evening. Duane and the kids, even the boys friend Jammie went with them to get Vern. Jammie had met him when Duane, Chris and Jammie went up north last summer. So they head out for the day to go and bring Vern down. I would of went but I had to work of course, had a home closing that day. So, I anxiously awaited them coming home.

When they arrived Vern had the biggest smile on his face as he always does, I gave him a great big kiss and hug. Oh I was just so happy to see him. Vern has a way of melting your heart. He's genuine and sincere. He's been going through alot for awhile now and knowing that he was here to spend time with us was just a wonderful feeling. I know Vern likes me and respects me, so I am totally myself around him and never feel ashamed to be me. He always made me feel welcome around him. So we sat and caught up on our lives. We laughed and just had a wonderful time.

I had to work on Saturday, when I got home, all my boys were stringing there poles to go fishing. Vern said, "Your comin fishing with us" I couldn't say no, although I was really not feeling well. I sucked it up and put a smile on my face and thought how often do I get the chance to do this? So after a couple hours of the boys messin around with there fishing stuff we headed out to do a lil fishing. We didn't get to fish for long because Vern got really cold and his legs started acting up. We all understood but he was a bit upset about it. Just another reminder your not as young as you used to be and for Vern that is a hard reality to face.

Vern was so patient with the kids when they were working together on the fishing lines, etc. You can see how muhc respect the kids have for him and that is just the most wonderful feeling you can have, neither of my kids have a "grampa'' figure in there life. Since my Dad passed they both have lost that and to see them together made me realize how much they could learn from Vern. Just to bad he lives so far away. If I had my say, he would live very close (;-) To bad I don't always get my way! LOL!

So we had a great weekend. We live very differently then Vern does, I was worried that our lifestyle wouldn't fit with his. Vern usually goes to bed at 9:30-10pm and gets up about 5:30am. OMG! That is so not like we live. I normally head to bed about 1am on workdays and get up about 8:30am. When I don't work the next morning, it's easily 3am. and I sleep in til I get up. Vern eats breakfast, we do not. So it was a bit of an adjustment, although Friday night he was up til 12:45. He was ready to go to bed about 10ish. I said okay, one more cig then we go to bed. He said okay, we smoked and talked and next thing I knew it was almost 1am. I said, Hun we really prolly outta get you to bed, he said what time is it. I said you really don't wanna know. When I did tell him, he just laughed and I thought well hell maybe he will sleep til like 8:30am. No he did not! lol!

When we got home from taking Vern back, the kids had school, so they had to say Goodbye in the morning. We get home and Jas come and is talking to me. He said 'I hoped maybe Vern would not wanna go home and just stay with us. I hoped he would still be here when I got home.' He said 'It was really nice having him here, I really like Vern. He reminds me of Pa, you know in how he talks to you and how he explains things to you. You know they are both kind of alike, the era kinda thing, I wish he didn't have to go home.' I said 'Yes, I know what you mean. He's a great person and maybe someday he will move closer to us and we can get to spend more time together.' Jas said 'I hope he had fun here with us and comes back' For me, that is what I hope the most. I hope he really did have a good enough time to want to come back.

We will go and get him anytime. Our door is always open to him and I hope like hell that day comes where he calls and says '' I wanna come and stay again" I think the more time we spend together the happier we all could be. Vern doesn't have much family and as far as I am concerned, I have the best family you could ever ask for and I would love to share that with him.  Anyways, any fear I had that things wouldn't go well, left the minute I saw Vern walk in my door. I love him very much and this weekend was a very good thing for me!!

Heart Broken

I was playing in my PSP tonite and made a couple pics. Duane and I were talking while I was doing it so I asked his opinion on the 2 that I had been working on. Each was simular but thought putting the pics together that I did, the picture said something LOL So I wanted to work with that so Duane picked one and of course, I preferred the other but really thought they both 'said' something different. So I decided to work with both. So I wanted your opinion to see what you thought or if you thought each said something different. Whatever your opinion may be..Thanks!

I started this picture with the background. I had a tube of the flower and wording in black n white. I added pink to the flowers of course because I love pink (:-) I then added the pinky beige color for a misted effect. So as I scanned other tubes and bg's to see what I could create. I came across this pic of the girl, stuck her on there and thought of Maria's daughter Madison.

Madison has discovered boys. She is 16 and has started 'going' with boys. They really don't go out yet. Maria has rules and she doesn't feel she is at that point with boys yet. Madison believed differently. So Maria experienced what many parents have, sneaking around to see a boy, lying to see "the love of her life"  LOL I laugh only because she too will laugh some day when she looks back to the day she thought this was love. Anyways, the shit hit the fan and after some thought and some level headed thinking, Maria realized her daughter was growing up. Basically she was pushed into a corner. So she decided to change the rules and accept Madison is ready to see boys. Not an easy task. They grow up way to fast and I think all the changes you both go through during those teen years and there horrible changes LOL You start a different relationship, I think it seems odd for you both. It's your first time going through that for both of you. What is the right or wrong way to act. You don't know but why your trying to figure it all out, you forget to just talk to eachother. Earlier Saturday night I got to hear how wonderful Maria was feeling about the after effects of what took place. Oh it was such a wonderful feeling and her smile was priceless. She looked so beautiful and happy. I had a great time with her. I love our talks and I think we both learn so much from eachother that it's kind of exciting LOL I truly believe that this bad situation turned out to be a true blessing. It was the wake up call they both needed to remember who they are to eachother. What they have always been to eachother. Maria and Madison truly had great trust in one another not to long ago. They talked and shared things but Madison being involved in many different sports, band things and friends I think they drifted, seeing how happy it makes her that she has that back and the love between Mom and Daughter is back (;-) So then Madison come home after her band gig looking very pretty but very sad comes in to share with Mom her happenings tonite. She procedes to talk about her and her boyfriend's breakup and how it feels so differently now. Like he's not treating her the same way and him feeling like he can't go on without her. To me, what you go through when you break up. Her heart is broken and it's very clear. It's hard not to feel for her because you truly know what it feels like, however, you are 'smarter', not!  just more experienced. To know that she will heal and it's not the end of either of ther lives but an ending to what wasn't meant to be. She too will look back and realize it really wasn't that bad, but at the time it really does suck ass. Plain and simple, she loved this boy in her heart. (she will learn later that it wasn't but it really is her lesson to learn, trust that she will) She now has to go back to school and not have lunch with him, not share a locker with him...then you say hi and 'UGH!' I would of hugged him or held his hand or smiled. I can't even smile at him, it feels ackward. That suck's ass. Your mind tells you it's the right thing but your heart 'feels' something different. When talking to Madison, my heart broke for her several times but I also was very proud of her. She knows this is the right thing to do, but she doesn't like how it feels. She does like this boy and she is going to miss him, but I think she knows it wasn't forever. I don't know and I hope she isn't looking for her forever but hope she is looking for someone to grow with as long as he is growing with her. Not faster then her and not slowing her down. This is her life and her time to figure out who she is and start to live her hopes and dreams. It's for her to decide who comes along for the ride. It's the hardest lesson to learn but to many times I think we live for the wrong reasons. It's easy to become 'comfortable' but it's not okay to stop living, hoping and dreaming. If the ones who share your life. She mentioned this boy skipping school and mentioned she is a straight A student. That right there says something. She feels for him because he has some problems. Not something a 16 year old needs to be dealing with and sometimes we are sucked in because we have a heart. It happens but normally isn't the best out come for you, give it what time you can but don't let it take you with it. If someone doesn't want to go to school and he 'just don't care' that's probably the best truth he could of ever said to you. Listen to him 'he just don't care'. He cannot care for you if he can't care for himself. It means he don't know how or he don't wanna try to figure it out or learn. No desire for life ends up without having a life. So listening to Maria and Madison talk was wonderful to me. There were times where I felt like I was listening to Jason, guess it's cuz we do talk openly, so I was relating. I don't have a daughter but I would of strived for the relationship, because I know how wonderful it is to be able to share your life with your Mom, no better friend in the world and just enough Mom to keep me safe. Worked for me and I enjoy what I share with Jas because I enjoy being a part of his life. I like feeling his good moments and even his bad moments. I like hearing the choices he's making in the stories he tells me. It's like I was there as much as I could possibly be even if just for a moment. (:-) So when I seen the pics, it made me think of all the other teenagers that have there heart broken. So I called the pic HeartBroken.! Hope you enjoyed my version of art and my story.!!

Happy Anniversary to My Wife

I should be mad at you....

For coming into my life and turning things every which way...

For flashing that smile that melts my heart

and makes me forget what I was saying..

for the thoughts of you constantly interrupt my days

and make it next to impossible for me to focus on anything

but the shape of your eyes and the softness of your lips...

I should be mad at you...

but I'm just too busy being in love with you.

I have saved all the cards he has ever given me and let me tell you they mean the world to me. It always seems like the perfect card for the perfect occasion and the perfect words for the moments we are sharing. He's the best and I am so thankful to have him each and everyday of my life. So tonite on our anniversary, we went to dinner with the kids. We all went to Applebees. Nothing fancy and to be completely honest, the only reason we went there, was we had a gift card and could afford to go. The card was enough for Duane and I but we don't go to dinner to often so I didn't feel right going without the kids. Jason asked a couple weeks ago if we were going to have another party. Dress up and go to dinner or something. I explained to him that you do that when you get married, not every anniversary. He thought that was stupid, you should have a party every year. So I said to him, when he gets married he can do just that, but for us, we were headin to Applebees. That made him happy. We had a very good dinner together, the 4 of us. So now, the kids are off to bed and as soon as I am done here, time for Duane and I to spend some time alone!! Nighty Nite!!

Father's Day

My Dad-Miss You!                   My Dad, My Hero!