Smile4me-4ever...
LiveWell, Love Much, Laugh Often and Smile 4 ever
Donald Duane-Lance Born April 14, 1970 Born in Lansing, Mi
"Sometimes I want to shout to the world how lucky I am to be loved by you
but sometimes I want to hush...
to afraid someone might take you away from me"
Duane and I's Photo Gallery (click here)
Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.
What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
I love you - those three words have my life in them.
A hundred hearts would be too few To carry all my love for you.
Seduce my mind and you can have my body, Find my soul and I'm yours forever.
Love is like swallowing hot chocolate
I build them to see who will love me enough to climb them and be in my life.
Love is that condition in which
The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.
Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.
Our Beginning...
I enjoy sharing my life with Duane. We have had some horrible struggles and are still struggling now. However, we still find a way to smile at eachother everyday. Seems to melt away the problems sometimes or at least make them bareable to go through, together. Duane realizes how stressed I am sometimes about our finances, it's not that we can't make it. I just got a better job and am making more money, it's just taking some time to pull things together. I now only get paid 2 x's a month. So robbin peter to pay paul is a lil bit more tricky LOL So it's at times stressful. I don't talk about it much because it's hard for Duane not to bear some of that load. I don't like making him feel that way but he knows when I am thinking about it, he knows me LOL I sometimes stress about the fact so much seems to rely on my shoulders. However, it makes me feel just as wonderful some times because I am doing it. I relied on someone for way to long, it is kind of a nice feeling to have knowing your the provider for someone you love. I was on the side of the person who supported me, and I would never behave that way towards someone I love. So, I bite my tongue, take a moment to remember what I am doing it for and realize it's for the ones I love. I also have the benefit of Duane loving me and it's very clear to me, honestly on a daily basis he shows me how much he appreciates what I do for him. I think deep down it's probably a good feeling to have someone who loves you that much to do it, esp with a smile LOL He appreciates me, it's a great feeling to know how much your appreciated. There's not a day that goes by that Duane doesn't make me feel like a princess. People think I am nuts, but I truly feel like a princess with him. He makes me feel safe, secure, happy, loved, cared for, trusted, omg I could go on for days, literally LOL I feel like our love has been a fairy tale. Not in circumstances of our financial beings by no means, but the feelings and our relationship, it's a total love story LOL In my eyes anyways. Whatever, I am just trying to say is .. in the way Duane loves me makes me feel like I met my prince charming, so I must be a princess LOL! It is what it is *ha ha* So, there... one of the reason's I love him to much. He treats me and looks at me like the most beautiful princess he has ever seen. Yes, I tell him he needs glasses but I like the look in his eyes when he tells me I'm beautiful!! :-)
Duane has alot of wonderful qualities as a person. He has a huge heart. He choses who he gives his heart to and is very cautious in giving to much of himself. He's pretty private in general. He feels his life is his to share with people he can trust. This comes from many years of let downs and painful memories. I understand his feelings but feel there is so much of him worth sharing and the hard times he faces in his life has molded him into who he has become. I am an open book so i don't care about sharing my life with others. Hence, my web page. He doesn't understand it but understands my love for life. I am proud of who he is and the fact he endured all he has endured in his life and is still able to smile and love after all of it.
Duane is a very honest person, if you don't want the truth, don't ask him LOL He is a straight shooter, he don't candy coat much. He has learned to think before he speaks and to look at the whole situation before reacting to harshly. When Duane loves you, he would die for you. I have never worried about Duane being honest with me. I have never wondered if he is keeping things from me. I always know where he stands. I don't always agree with the way he believes, but I am always able to understand why he believes the way he believes. I believe the life we have lived molds us into who we are, it also forms our opinions on many issues. The things we have gone through in our lives determines how we make decisions and how we handle situations. Duane and I have many talks about our different up bringings and how we were taught, etc. We have learned to listen to both our sides and come to a better understanding of eachother. It has been wonderful learning from him. I have learned alot because he is so honest with me about everything in life we face. It's a wonderful feeling to be with someone so honest and always knowing how he really feels, good or bad LOL
Duane is a very loyal person. When Duane has love for you and cares about you as a person. There is nothing he won't do for you and your smile is important to him. Duane's loyalty is very clear to anyone he meets. You can see how loyal he is to his family and friends. He will stick by them through thick or thin, but if your not loyal back. There will be hell to pay. He stands up for what he believes in and will fight til death to make sure his loved ones are protected. I never worry about anything happening to me when I am with Duane. When we first met, I seen it very clearly how protected I was with him. Never had I felt so safe with someone. Duane is very cautious of his surroundings and has taught me so much about being aware of my surroundings to protect myself when I am not with him.
Duane is a compassionate person. I always tease him about his compassion for 'sports'. I tell him I come second to U of M football and Nascar (Dale Jr). Duane absolutely loves his sports. His compassion for it sometimes makes me jealous LOL Not in a bad way, as much as I tease about it, the fact he has so much compassion is a wonderful site and wonderful feeling. He has the same kind of compassion for me and I know that, so it's all good. To enjoy something that much, oh the smiles on his face when he's talking about nascar and U of M football is wonderful. He is very smart and very knowledgeable about his sports. Most of the time, he is dead nuts on with what he says, makes me proud but shhhhh, don't tell him LOL Our living room in our home is ''Nascar'' back at our old place it was our bedroom. Didn't like that to much, so I figured I would give him the living room to show off his shit LOL Some think I am crazy but it's ''our'' house and I do enjoy Nascar as well, so it's all good with me!! I love his compassion!!
Duane is a wonderful lover ;-) Never have I ever been with a man like Duane. When I met Duane, I was pretty nieve' as he calls me LOL Love making was no big deal. I could give it or take it. I hadn't been with to many men in my life and not a one who could get me to 'that point' LOL Duane rocked my world the very first night we were together. I was shocked and yet a bit worried I couldn't handle him LOL Duane had been with many more women in his lifetime then I was, even if you figured in my 'fantasies'. I never imagined lovemaking to be what I have experienced with Duane. For the first time in my life, I wanted sex! I was blown away, because honestly it wasn't a big deal for me, ever! It was really something you just gave your man, to shut him up or make him happy! I never really got anything from it. The things I have experienced with Duane, honestly I could write a book LOL From feeling the 'closeness' to the 'explosions'! I know understand what I have been missing all these years LOL The biggest thing, is that Duane makes me feel so beautiful and free that I have no reservations for trying new things or experimenting, it's opened up a whole new world for me. Now, it's something I want everyday!! Our alone time at night has been wonderful from the beginning and get's better each and every time. No fakin it here, he knows me to well and don't stop til he's sure LOL Sorry if to much information but I could go on for days!! LOL!
Before it has cooled off.
It takes you by surprise at first,
But keeps you warm for a long time.
Duane is a great baker. Yep, you heard me. He loves to bake. My Dad was unable to work and took up cooking and baking for my Mom who had to work. When Duane became unable to work, him and Dad spent alot of time together. Duane would go over and help Dad, and finally Duane started doing it all the time. They would swap recipes, etc. Now that Dad has passed Duane's baking slowed down tremendously. However, he has since picked it up a bit more to keep it going for Dad and us, we love it LOL He makes the best peanut butter brownies. One of the ones that are hard for him to make since Dad passed but makes them for special occasions. His cookies are to die for. Perfectly done and perfectly tasty. If I could virtually send you a cookie, I am telling you, you would be impressed. If I could just get him to cook regular meals all would be great LOL Baking is his thing. He is a far cry better then he used to be back in the day. His first attempt of cookies was a recipe he got from his grandma, except he used yeast LOL Needless to say, they didn't turn out very good. He's always had a desire to bake, because he is a junk food man, loves his cookies. I am so thankful Grandma was able to taste his cookies before she passed away. I know she was very proud of him and tickled that he finally got them right LOL He grew up on Grandma's cookies, so now he can make them for himself, just as good as she made them. I know he is very proud of how well he bakes.
Duane has alot of wonderful qualities, however, he has some not so wonderful traits. Things we bump heads on. He has a shorter fuse then I do. He doesn't have as much patience as I do. He isn't always very positive in his thinking. Mom is working on that one with him. LOL She pulls his ear all the time, or hits him with a pillow LOL It a joke now, but he tends to talk about the bad side of a situation before the good side. I understand where it comes from but at times it gets very frustrating. I am very positive person and no matter how bad a situation I can find a happy side or positive side. I was taught that from birth. Duane didn't have that guidance in his life. He grew up alone mostly, the only person to count on was himself. He was taken away from his parents at like 9ish and didn't live in the best situation before he was taken. He really didn't start living until 1999 when he gave up the alcohol he had depended on for years and was able to see the damage it had done and how much life needed to change. So, it's something we work on all the time and the best part of all of it, is when Duane sees where he is going wrong and actually smiles because he sees what we are talking about and how far he has come in some of the changes he has made as a man. I am very proud of his little negative ass LOL Noone is perfect, including me, gosh wonder if he'll laugh when he reads this LOL Yes Dear, I am not perfect!! Duane's got so many wonderful qualities that I even love his negativity at times LOL
The happiness of another person
Is essential to your own.
Duane is a good Dad. For years, Duane wasn't a good Dad. Dad came second to drinking. He will be the first one to admit that. Now, Chris and him have finally gotten to the point where they understand more about eachother and are able to communicate much better. It has taken alot of hard work on both there parts, they were both effected by the alcohol. Duane started to really become a Dad after he put down the bottle and learned who he really was and who he wanted to be. Duane looks back and sees the mistakes he's made, he has also learned so much about himself. I think he is very proud of the man he has become, it's kind of like after alcohol, he started to live. I am so thankful he did, had he not quit drinking, he and I would never of met and both our lives would of been different. I look forward to years down the road when we can share our grandchildren together. I wanted to have more children, Duane cannot, he has been 'fixed' so to speak. I think had we been able to have a child together, so many things would of been different for us both. He would of been able to been sober to see all the firsts a child goes through and have the memories to look back on. Anyways, that wasn't the cards we were dealt, maybe someday we can foster care a child, if not, our boys better give us grandkids!!!
Duane is the best husband I could ever ask for! His love for me shines in his eyes each and every time he looks at me. I never doubt his love for me. It's in the way he looks at me, the way he kisses me, the way he touches me and mostly the way he smiles at me. My favorite! His smile! Although, he's missing some teeth and he don't understand how his Smile melts my heart. It does, when he smiles, his face lights up, he gets little crinkles next to his eyes and I swear I see them sparkle at me. Duane's smile is very important to me, maybe because I know how many years he didn't smile in his life. I don't know, all I know is it's my weakness. It's my mood changer as well. If he's not smiling, I sometimes get angry, I know how much he has to smile about and how much I love his smile. So when he's not smiling, I am not happy. I can usually find a way to make him smile. I have a way with him LOL Duane does alot for me, as my husband. He is very caring and attentive, he usually knows what I need and does what he can to help make my life easier. Of course, I am a woman, so we aren't always happy but when I express what I need from him, most of the time it's all I have to do is ask and he's at my beck and call. Let me tell ya though, it goes both ways. I am a very good wife to him. I think we are just good together, plain and simple. We were made to love eachother and I thank God for guiding us in the right direction and for giving us both the strength to survive what we have gone through to get to this point. If I didn't believe in him before, I certainly do now!!!
Duane and I were asked by a social worker what our biggest asset as a couple was, not understanding what she meant at first, she explained. Our answer was "Communication" We have the ability to communicate as a couple like most people do not. NO matter how tough the conversation, we listen with respect and open mindedness. Both of our views are important and you can see that in the way we talk. Our kids have stated they have learned alot about us, because we take the time to talk about things, big or small. It was a wonderful feeling to know how much our kids have learned because of that. We fight very rarely. We have talk, private talks. When we have problems in life, with the kids or just life in general, we sit down and talk out our feelings. Each having our own opinions. When we have said how we feel, we then go into figuring out what the best way of handling it will be. It has worked wonders in our lives. I guess thats where the love and trust and respect play a huge role in our lives. We have family meetings to discuss situations and they have allowed us to conquer things we never thought possible.
Duane and I met in April 2001. We met on Yahoo chat. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was content in my life as a single Mom, living my life my way. We met on a Saturday afternoon online. He messaged me and we actually had a great conversation. Duane didn't type so fast and so he was getting frustrated. He asked if he could call me. I do not normally do that so I was a little shy about giving my phone number. I think I may of called him the first time on my calling card. When we talked on the phone for the first time we were on the phone for a long time. Conversation flowed like we had known one another for a lifetime. Duane was married at the time. Yes, what was I thinking???? I had nothing to lose, he was the one married. I lived an hour and a half away from him. We were both just enjoying our conversations. Duane told me about his life the very first day. All of his life LOL Duane has had alot of pain throughout his life. Listening to his stories made me sad, but also gave me alot of insite to who he was today. He was a different man on the phone then he described during the stories he told. Duane has made some horrible decisions in his life. However, I was able to understand most of his bad choices. He was never a kid, never had the up bringing he needed to really know right from wrong. Duane was taken away from his family at a very young age. Put in the 'system' for way to long. He became an alcoholic at a very young age. When I met Duane, he had already quit drinking. One of the hardest things he has ever had to accomplish in his life. He did it on his own and I am very proud of him. Duane is a very private person. He doesn't trust people very easily and so he doesn't share himself with many people. I was so thankful he opened up to me right from the start. He didn't hold back anything from me. I knew every bad thing that has ever happen to Duane and every bad thing he has ever done. I should of been scared LOL I wasn't, he stole my heart. His stories were harsh at times, but the stories weren't as important as how he told his stories. He told them with his heart and soul. His pain, sadness and joy came through in his stories. That was what swept me off my feet. His openess to share himself with me was wonderful. There was a trust from the beginning, maybe it was because what did he really have to lose. I was just Tammy from Flat Rock, a girl he talked to on the computer and now on the phone. We hadn't met in person. So, really there was nothing to lose. Worst case scenario I told him he was nuts and hung up and we never talked again. LOL We communicated very well from the first day we said Hi. Things progressed and we finally met and fell in love. He went through a divorce and a we had horrible problems with his ex and with the kids. You can read about that in a link below. So, our love story began !!!
