Smile4me-4ever...
LiveWell, Love Much, Laugh Often and Smile 4 ever
"Sometimes I want to shout to the world how lucky I am to be loved by you
but sometimes I want to hush...
to afraid someone might take you away from me"
Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you.
They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.
Duane, You bring out the best in me, and you are perfect for me!!
I love you not because of who you are,
but because of who I am when I am with you
This is My Forever Love, Duane. He is my husband. He is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. We met on Yahoo Chat. Yes, another 'internet love' !! Duane and I met in April 01. When we met online, it was suppose to be just friends, fishing buddies *haha* He was married, not happily. In fact his profile said "married but looking" WTF does that mean? I asked and he told me. I accepted it and we started our friendship. I wasn't looking to really date. I had been dating in real life, I wasn't looking for online love. I just enjoyed chat. One thing led to another and our very short friendship turned into forever love. Talking online a few times, meeting up in person, turned into the best thing that ever happened to us. When I say short, I mean within a few weeks, he moved in, left his wife and kids and moved 1 1/2 hours away from where he used to live. We clicked on the phone immediately. Our talks were like we had known one another for a lifetime. Something neither of us expected, nor looked to happen, but are thankful to God that it did. He has changed my life and I know in my heart I have changed his. The first day I met him I knew. I was scared to death because what I felt talking to him on the phone grew and grew each time we talked. I wasn't scared to speak my mind. I wasn't scared to be open and honest. I wasn't scared when he told me his horrible stories of his life. He's been through alot. I listened to the stories and my heart went out to him. I felt the stories he told me. I felt them with my heart and soul. I listened to him pour his heart and soul into each story he told me and he wasn't scared to tell me. That meant alot to me. I also realized that he was being more open with me than he was normally with anyone. I was so flattered by that, but I feel he trusted me from the start. I realize today 6 years later what an honour that is to have because Duane is a very private person. He does not trust easily and he is far from open about his life.
I don't build walls around me to keep people out, I build them to see who will love me enough to climb them and be in my life.
I believe what we go through in our lives molds us into who we are today. Those horrible times Duane had in his childhood and through his teenage years made him keep things inside, he is not proud of where he has been and the things he has gone through. I understand him and love him for all that he is and all he will become. I am so thankful to be a part of his life and can't imagine my life without him. I went through alot in my first marriage that made me afraid to give my heart away again. When I met Duane, for the first time in years, I felt safe. Not just safe in the world, but safe to be me and to express myself without being judged. Duane has always made me feel like a princess. Literally, he makes me feel good about myself. I see the love he has for me when he looks at me. I feel the love he has for me when he talks to me. It's a wonderful feeling to have that. It's easily explained as I felt like I was 'home', where I was meant to be, complete for the first time in my life. The look in his eyes when he looks at me is the greatest feeling in the world. To see the love someone has for you seems like you can see right into there soul. I just pray he sees the same thing. I believe in my heart he does, because I feel his eyes looking at my heart and soul, so he has to be able to see the love I have for him. I can compare it only to the love I seen my Dad have for me. Unconditional love, the beaming of joy to have me as his own and love me as a part of him, but a father's love can never compare to a partner's love. Hope that makes sense. Something I have never had before in any other man To be loved that deeply and to not have to hold back who you are is an amazing feeling. I felt those feelings that one Saturday night, I knew him 2 weeks online and 2 days in person. The day I fell in love and knew he loved me too. I can tell you in the 6 years we have been together, I have fallin in love over and over again with Duane and I know I will fall in love with him hundreds of times more before I leave this world. I wrote several poems about Duane when we first met and all of them still stand to this day. He has so many wonderful qualities, but he is rough and tough on the outside and is misunderstood many times. Sometimes even me, thats where communication comes in quickly. I feel very honoured to be one of the people in and throughout Duane's life to share his complete self with. He has only shared that with one other person in this world. Many have come very close, but I stand next to his Grama Wittum.
The one woman Duane has always trusted and loved. I know the love he has for his Gram and I know what his Gram means to him. She is gone but she still guides him through life, he still leans on her when he needs to, so that love is strong and to be next to a woman like Gram. I am the luckiest woman in the world.
Duane has very few other people who know him that well, or that he has let into his heart.
His friend Vern, My Mom and My Dad, his cousin Tom.
To know Duane, is a special gift.
I wish he would share himself more with the world, but I understand why he choses not to. That keeps a smile on his face and for that I am happy. I am just so thankful I am all he needs to feel safe and loved, and he trusts me the way he does. I cherish that with my heart and soul as long as I live. I am a very lucky woman *haha* I am happy to be me!
I know many people in relationships who are afraid to really say how they are feeling because they don't want to make the other person mad or afraid to say things because they may 'lose' that someone. I have never felt that way with Duane. I am a very lucky woman. Duane supports me in all that makes me happy and he knows I support him in all that makes him happy. He said to me one time that my smile is what makes him the happiest and when I am not smiling he is not happy. He is the reason I smile as often as I do. I know how he feels because no matter what, when I see him smile. There is nothing in this world that compares to that. It's the most wonderful thing in the world, even if it's not me putting that smile on his face at that time.
Duane and I finally got married November 20th, 2006!!
That was one of the happiest days of my life.
There was a void that day, the absence of my father, but the day was special because we got married on Dad's birthday. Duane and my Dad were very close and I could never of asked for a better gift than the relationship they had with one another. It will be cherished forever, by us all.
Our wedding day was wonderful.
We got married in a chapel by a wonderful lil lady, who made the ceremony our own. Chris was Duane's best man and Jason walked me down the isle that day. Our kids were happy as we were that day. I think for them both it was a day they needed. They were so happy, happier then I could of ever imagined. Life changed for them afterwards. I think they realized that the love we had was really real and that we finally made that commitment and it gave them a sense of security. We were finally really a family and that meant alot to them. We had a small reception and it turned out beautifully. I was so happy to finally become his wife. I cried on my wedding day, not for sadness or nerves but to finally stand in front of God and our family and declare our love for one another. When she pronounced us husband and wife, chills went down my spine and I don't think I have ever smiled bigger then I did at that moment and I will never forget the smile on Duane's face that day either. It was the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. I have no doubts that we will be together forever. For the first time in my life I am complete. I have found my other half that makes me whole and I could not be happier. We have had our struggles with jobs, finances, kids, our ex's but we have made it through it all and it has made us stronger then ever. No matter what we have had to endure, we endure it as a team and it shows in the love we have for another. Our children have learned so much from us and how we communicate, I hope it shows them what it takes to have a good relationship. I can't wait to see where life takes us and look forward to more memories and journeys through life with Duane. He is all I need to survive and life happily ever after. I love you Duane!
