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My First Tattoo!!!

Posted on March 7, 2009 at 11:58 AM

Since I have been 14 years old, I have wanted to get a tattoo. I could never figure out what I wanted to put on my body. Something I wouldn't regret years down the road. I convinced myself until I found something that meant something to me, I wouldn't do it. Yes, I have always been a bit fearful about the pain, but figure I could handle that because it would be something that meant something to me, so it would be worth it. As I got older, expressed my desire to get a tattoo, my Dad freaked! He would say, no daughter of mine will get a tattoo, if you get a tattoo I will disown you. That was a bit fearful for me. I have always 'wanted' to do what my parents felt was right, not that I always did. I was sure he would be fine with it but there was always that part of you that would hate to really disappoint him. My father has passed away and once again I am thinking of a tattoo. I put alot of thought into my tattoo. It was very important to my father for us to respect ourselves and our bodies. He never understood tattoos. I am not a death, blood, evil kind of tattoo girl. Not saying that those are wrong, just wrong for me. I felt if I got a respectful tattoo, my Dad would understand. He has been a thought in my head throughout chosing my tattoo. When/If we meet again, I want him to be as proud of me as he was when he left our lives. I will someday have a dedication to both my parents, but right now, this one was for me.

My original tattoo was going to say... Honesty, Truth Hurts, Lies Destroy, Your Choice. The night before the tattoo party, I changed my mind. So now, it says Honesty, Road to no regrets. For me, this was better because since I have chosen to be honest, I have yet to regret anything. I will forever regret my choice I made back then, but I will always have that regret to show me what happens when you are not honest. I will die with that regret alive in my heart. I wish I could go back and change what I did to David, but through that, I found myself. Were we suppose to meet so that he could show me that people like him do exist? I know I learned alot from him, he is still an angel that sits on my should everyday to remind me to be true to yourself and others and dreams can come true. I just hope he learned something from me and he can once again smile4me!! I will smile4 him forever!

Had it not been for the biggest mistake in my life, I would NOT be who I am today, where I am today and with who I am today. I can honestly say, I have never been more happy in myself and my life that I am today. It gives a new meaning to "The truth shall set you free" Free as a beautiful butterfly !! Life is about choices and if you make the right choices, you won't regret anything. Be honest with yourself and others, it is amazing how wonderful it truly is, lies always catch up to you and if you think they don't watch out!!

So, what was I going to chose? It has to be something that means the world to me, something that makes me remember a time in my life, something I will always look back at and smile. I learned a very hard lesson years ago. I have always felt like a very honest person. In many senses I have been, however, back about 10yrs ago, I took honesty for granted. I realized first hand what lies can do, not just to you, but to people you love. I met a man, who truly gave honesty a meaning to me. He made me realize that if your not honest, what are you really? Your fake, body and soul! I fell in love with a man, he fell in love with me, lies destroyed that love and broke a truly amazing man's heart. He was honest with me, I was the coward, the liar, the one who couldn't face the truth myself. I faced this man, finally told the truth and watched my heart and his break. I lost him forever. Couldn't even salvage a friendship. To this day, he is still very important to me. After that day, I realized how far I had gone. I had totally lost myself, years before that, I would of never done such a thing. My misery effected an innocent man. Horrible choice I made. I dug down deep, took a long hard look at myself. I was not happy with what I seen. I was bound determine to find myself again. I was going to never lie again. I am who I am and dammit I need to be proud of who I am. I needed to be honest with myself before I could ever be honest with anyone else that came through my life. I searched my soul, finding myself once again. It was the most wonderful feeling in my life. A freedom came over me, something that I can't seem to find the words to describe. If you have ever dug down deep and found yourself, you know what I mean. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself and that is to be true to yourself always. I vowed from that day forward to never be ashamed of who I am, to always be the person I am proud of, no matter how others look at you. You see, the person I was to David, was ultimately the person I was truly inside, but always to afraid to let others show. Today, I live my life as that person. The real me, no holding back, if you don't like me, your problem. Maybe that sounds cold but I can't live my life for what others want me to be, I can truly only be me. I have less fears, more smiles and no more regrets in my life, because I am honest about everything. Maybe sometimes to honest but the way I see it, the truth my hurt but a lie can destroy. I speak my mind, what goes through my head comes out my mouth. It's easy to lie, it is very hard to always be honest. The way I see it, is at least you know where I stand, no more pretending for me. I am finally that beautiful butterfly I have longed to be all my life. Chosing honesty has opened up my life and allowed my dreams to come true. So here is my tattoo. I got it on my back just below my neck area.