Smile4me-4ever...

Graduation Day June 5th, 2009. Today is the one of the happiest days of my life. My sons Jason and Chris graduated high school today. I couldn't wait for the day. I am sure they felt the same way. What an accomplishment! It seems like just yesterday when I gave birth to Jason. I was told, spend as much time with your child as you can, they grow up so fast. Being a mother for the first time, my thought was, how fast can he really grow up. I know today just how fast that day has come. It has been 8 years since I have had Chris in my life. Talk about time flying. My boys are all grown up. Facing manhood, ugh! Makes me feel so very old. LOL So here we were school year ending, 2 weeks before graduation I receive a phone call from the principal of Huron High School. My son Jason was failing 3 classes. I about shit myself. He has never failed a class in his life. He has always done wonderful in school. I have never had to worry about his school work, he's always been responsible. I was shocked and confused. I spoke with him and he too was unhappy but he realized he had been slacking. Smooth sailing is how he felt. It was his senior year, he had all his credits but 1/2 of an English class. I wasn't sure if 2 weeks would be enough to pull it off. What was I going to do if he didn't graduate. I was so scared and disappointed. I couldn't do the work for him, he had to pull this one off himself. He did it. He kept telling me not to worry that he would be fine. He could do it. My fear wasn't that he couldn't as much as it was about the dream that could come crashing down for me. I have dreamed of this day for along time. I had expectations, I was suppose to have them both graduating. My heart was breaking inside for the dream that may not come true. I also realized I didn't have any control in the situation. Apparently I am more controlling then I thought because that was a huge problem for me. Anyways, he pulled it off. He didn't let me down. He didn't want to tell his Dad because he was afraid he would be really pissed off. He would of been and that is understandable. His thing was, no reason to tell him because he was going to graduate. He was right but I felt terrible. I felt like it was my place to tell him. I honoured his decision and waited to make sure he did it. All the worries went away when I contacted the school and they told me, he would be walking at graduation. YEAH!!! Suddenly I walked tall again, proud as I could be.

The day of graduation seeing my boys in their gowns and hat was the most wonderful site a mother could have up til this point. They have never looked more handsome to me, EVER! Their smiles could of lite up the world, at least mine they did! We snapped some pictures at home and at Mom's and set out to the school.  Walking down the hallways at their school. I could feel the emotion, the excitement, the proud parents smiling with anticipation of commencements. We entered the gym. So many people yet we were all there for the same reason, to see our graduates take there final walk. It took me back to the day I graduated. The memories of how proud I was I made it but how sad I was inside that it was over. The finality of the whole thing. The fact that I was now officially ready to step out into the real world. Scary! As we sat in the bleachers awaiting our graduates entrance into the gym. I reflected on how far they have both come. How much they have already conquered in their lives. They have become their own person. They have matured so much over the years. They have made so many friends and memories through the years. As I looked around at the smiling faces I noticed they had pictures up on the screen of all the kids who were going to be graduating. I wanted to take a couple pics, so I got out my camera and realized my full battery was now 1/2 gone. I was not a happy Mom. WTF, how could this happen??? Today was one of the most important days and my camera was going to quit on me. I was disappointed but what could you do? My sister took some from her phone and I was able to take a few. There was photographers there so I was able to relax, at least I could order some and still have the memories.

The doors open and the band starts to play. My heart started racing and my eyes filling with tears. It was about to begin. I said to myself, talking to my father, well here we go Dad. I hope your watching, this is the day we have all waited for, your here in our hearts, I hope you can feel us. I know he was a thought in all of our heads. My father didn't graduate and he regretted that always. So for our boys to graduate would of been a day my father would of cherished. I know he was there, he had to be. The thought of my Dad missing this day with us was very hard. I tried to control the tears, Jason was so fearful that I would be balling. No children like to see their Mom cry. They had their own emotions that day. I know they missed my Dad being there too. So finally their they were walking across the gym so all could see, finally sitting next to the stage. The band played the graduation song. Chills run over my body. Just like the wedding song always does and taps. Just seem to bring out the emotion. Proud, oh so proud!! The ceremony begins, looking at all of them in their red and white gowns. Smiles as big as life! You could tell each and everyone of them were proud in their own ways. Smiles and red faces, so many people here to see them. The cheers for a job well done echoed through the gym. After a few speeches, the moment came, names started being called as the students come up on stage to receive their diploma's. Again, the tears start welling. I remember how excited and nervous I was to receive the diploma. This is what they came for to be presented with their diploma, it was the finale, what they worked their butts off for was going to be in their hands very soon. As they started calling out the names and the students approached the stage, I just couldn't wait to hear their names. Finally my boys names were called, they received their diploma's and a picture was snapped by their photographer. Then they exit the stage and walk around the gym so all can wish them well and take pictures. As I watch each of them receive their diploma and take their walk. They looked so much more grown up. As I looked at Jason, remembering the days of his younger years. So small, so short and so childish. He was now a man, tall and proud. Chris was just as proud and just as much a man. Oh how they have grown through the years. I have never been more proud in my life. Their graduation meant more to me then my very own. I guess as a teenager entering womanhood I took some of that for granted. Now, as a mother I know how my parents felt and just how proud they were of me to enter that time of my life. I also know how scared they must of been as well. Today was a great day, a proud moment for a parent but you also realize they have grown up and will be taking on their own lives. It made me realize just how much my boys don't need me anymore. That rips my heart out but makes me smile just the same. They have made my dream come true rather they know it or not. I cannot wait to see how their lives turn out, the changes in their lives as they grow and become their own person. One day, they will move out on their own and all I can hope is they remember where they came from and hope they continue to come 'home'.

My Wish - Rascal Flatts

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,

And each road leads you where you want to go,

And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed,

I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,

If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,

All the ones who love you, in the place you left,

I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,

And you help somebody every chance you get,

Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,

And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish

I hope you know somebody loves you

May all your dreams stay big